Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why are women attracted to ugly guys?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Google quietly released an app that lets you download and run AI models locally - TechCrunch

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is your review of working in EY?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do I sweat so much at the gym?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

The Best Time to Take Vitamin D for Maximum Absorption, According to Health Experts - Yahoo

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How to watch the 2025 Tony Awards on Sunday - NPR

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

We white women don't like white men. Do you have any issue with that?

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Internal document shows how UnitedHealth executives prepared to tamp down investor unrest - statnews.com

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

CVS closing 271 stores, including 3 locations in Upstate NY - Syracuse.com

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

South Korea’s opposition leader Lee wins election as voters punish conservatives after martial law chaos - CNN

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I see through liars

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet